Thinking about the phases and stages of life, man...

... Sometimes the personal just overwhelms the careerist secular side of the times we have. I will get going soon, I have faith- cuz you gotta have faith, eh? In any case the welling up of childhood memories and ongoing life reflection precipitated by the closure surrounding the loss of parents, the reconnection with the oldest and in some ways most fundamentally deepest and closest friends... who are dealing with many of the same or parallel kinds of things and wrenching emotions that me and my sister and brother have been dealing with really since our mother died suddenly and accidentally just over nine years ago- and we began the long slow goodbye with our father who could barely stand to "just hang in there" after his wife left but had to strong a constitution and life force and core will to live despite his deteriorating and shrinking self to get out any earlier than this past December.

And then, coincidentally, the passing of Miss McMillan- the elementary school teacher of all of us- who was one of the other majorly influential adults of our childhood- all four of us I'm mostly referring to in this post- it all leaves me feeling oddly still in my prime and profoundly alive and pretty strong pretty fast like I can still go two tree rounds with the world... but that this euphoric high is self aware of its own tenuous gossamer vulnerability like perhaps never before. I feel like it is an adrenalin surge i must take advantage of to finally make something of the ongoing work I have been dancing around doing for my entire adult life.

Onward... Farward and faiyaka. Minnotuh- and den goasaka...